“I don’t know”

I hear this often from the people I work with in response to a question I ask.

How do you want to navigate this?

What does your gut tell you?

What do YOU think?

They say… “I don’t know”, often accompanied with a stressed-out face.

I will often respond with this…

“Well, good news is, 'I don’t know' is a great place to start!”

It’s kind of an annoying way to respond, I know. Because it can feel so uncomfortable to be in the place of feeling like we don’t know the answer. It makes sense that we want to know the solutions to all our life questions. It often feels safer. The unknown + grey areas can feel really scary for many of us. But if we try to start from a place of already knowing, we can miss out on so much. Being an “expert” at something often leads to listening less.

When we allow ourselves to NOT know, we can get curious.

We can experience all the richness of a beginner’s mind.

It allows us to listen and be open to other ideas, viewpoints, and possibility. It allows us to actually take in more information and discern for ourselves what is true.

And that’s a pretty magical place to be.

How can you embrace not knowing in your life right now?

On the other hand, maybe, deep down you already know.

When it comes to decision points in our own life, sometimes, we actually already know.

If we got REALLY honest with ourselves, we already know the path that is meant for us. Or at least the first step down the path. Or maybe even, just knowing what path is NOT meant for us anymore.

But that knowing can be scary.

Because once you really know something, you can’t un-know it.

And often, following that knowing requires us to do something different. To take action. To make changes in life. Change is scary.
A big part of my role as a therapist is to remind you of this. To help guide you back to what you already know.

How can you make space in your life for something that you already know?

Even when it’s scary?

Especially when it’s scary.

The incredible thing about leaning into what you know is true; is that it actually allows you to be comfortable NOT knowing.

I love a good contradiction. A paradox. An example of the duality in life.

In truly ‘knowing’, it allows you to embrace the ‘not knowing’ parts of life.

It comes back to self-trust, like many things do.

If you’re deeply connected to your truth + sense of Self, you can allow yourself to have a beginner’s mind. You trust that even if you don’t yet know what the next step is, you can still embrace the unknown. You can allow yourself to be open and curious.

There is trust that whatever you uncover or discover, you’ll be able to handle it.

This type of knowing isn’t connected to an outside source. Which is great because there’s so many unknowns in life. Change is constant. The external factors will always be shifting.

In the unpredictability of this life, tether yourself to you.

That’s where the magic is.