Build Self-Trust by Keeping Promises to Yourself

Self-Trust is not too dissimilar to building trust with others.  

If you want to trust yourself, you have to become a trustworthy person.

 When I ask people how they know they can trust someone, most often the first response is something to the effect of: 

 “They do what they say they are going to do.”

 Exactly.

 Trustworthy people follow through. They keep their promises. 

 The relationship you have with yourself is just as important, if not more, than any other relationship in your life.  

 Often, when people start to take this perspective, I hear something like, “I would definitely show up if I told my friend I was meeting them. Why don’t I treat myself the same way?”

 When you habitually follow through on your commitments, you have no choice but to trust yourself.

 Now, I’m usually not a fan of taking away choice, but in these circumstances, I can get on board. 

Take note, I did say habitually. Trust doesn’t happen overnight. Consistency over time is what allows trust to build from within. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep following through. Keep holding the line. 

“Trust is less like a light switch that you turn on or off, and more like 100 candles that you light (or blow out) one at a time.” -Julie Jeske

A conversation about trust wouldn’t be complete without a little chat on boundaries.

 When you set a boundary with someone, or even with yourself, it’s imperative to hold the line. From this perspective, it is less about the specific boundary you set and more about the commitment you make to yourself by setting the boundary.

Now, there’s lots of nuance to dig deeper into here. It’s never as black and white as we often try to make it. That’s the kind of excavation I love doing with people. To get under the surface of why a pattern keeps showing up in their life.

 Sometimes, we do need to course correct though. We need to change the destination we’re headed toward. It’s not necessarily disloyal to change your mind. It comes down to discernment and building the Self-Trust muscle to know when to pivot and when to keep going. And getting clarity on what the commitment to yourself actually is, and WHY. 

 Start by trying this perspective out when it comes to commitments and boundaries. See how it lands for you. See what you notice. 

 Keep Promises Mantras:

 I will follow through on my commitments. 

 I will hold the line on the boundaries I set; especially when it’s uncomfortable.

 I will follow through until I have no choice but to trust myself.