What ACTUALLY works in therapy?
If you’re a therapist wanting to feel confident in the work you do with folks… maybe ANOTHER training isn’t going to be the magic fix. 🪄
Modalities, Training, and Education aren’t NOT important.
I’d be a complete hypocrite if I told you my trainings in trauma, Somatic Experiencing, IFS, psychedelics, yoga, and EMDR didn’t fundamentally shape the way I approached therapy for 13+ years. (Not to mention the modalities I was trained in that DIDN’T resonate.)
However, as I reflect on my time as a therapist, I’m realizing what was ACTUALLY important for my clients…
Here’s what they’ve shared with me over the years, that worked for them:
Having a “partner in curiosity”.
A safe person to turn to when the world felt too loud and my feelings felt too big.
Inspiring me to take an authentic look in the mirror.
A voice of calm when I needed it the most.
Truly modeling evolution.
Having someone so present, intentional, and grounded.
Steadfast guidance when things were REALLY hard.
A safe space to explore the depths of my soul.
Reflecting on the deeper message underneath these sentiments; it leads me back to trusting myself. Trusting myself as a therapist to show up in Self energy with a regulated nervous system. And more often than not, that’s going to be enough.
MORE than enough actually.
Often, it’s EXACTLY what the person in front of me needs.
This isn’t to say I show up and just listen. I’ve offered a lot of therapy sessions, that if we were being recorded would “look like therapy”. I’ve also held space for MANY sessions that didn’t look anything like “traditional talk therapy”.
Both have been valuable.
Both have moved the needle.
And the thing that’s been critical for me as the therapist?
Trusting myself to know when to do what. Trusting myself to know when psychoeducation, validation, normalization, and support is necessary.
And.
Following my inner wisdom when the pull is to: get up and shake it out, encourage them to “ROAR!”, allow their dissociation MORE space in session, sit there silently - sending them “blue” energy, or offer a shared moment of humanity from my own life.
None of this can be prescribed.
I’ve had to BUILD trust in myself as a therapist. I’ve had to get a lot of reps in. Consistency over time. I’ve also had to cultivate trust in myself if something were to go “wrong”. Trust that I can take chances in the therapy sessions. I can follow my intuition, even when it doesn’t make logical sense. And if something doesn’t land well, I trust in our therapeutic relationship to make repairs and learn from what “didn’t work”.
Failing forward can lead to some really helpful insight, progress, and healing.
If you’re a therapist wanting to feel confident in the work you do with folks… My suggestion is to focus more on building trust in yourself.
Then, you’ll be able to discern between a training that might unlock some really powerful healing potential and a training you’re taking just to NOT feel like an imposter in the therapist chair.
If you want guidance on trusting YOURSELF more as a therapist, join us on an EPIC SELF-TRUST journey.
We start March 10th. 🚀
With Curiosity,
